June 1, 2004
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Yes, kids, it’s time for…
Another Amazing Adventure in New York City
Yesterday Amanda and I grabbed a small lunch downtown at KFC before heading into Century 21, a huge discount clothing store. (It advertises its reputation as “New York’s Best Kept Secret,” but it’s like, “Well, no shit. If I named my clothing store Coldwell Banker or RE/MAX, it’d be a pretty well-kept secret, too.”) We’re walking along the street side of the sidewalk, and I’m gawking at the dinky little stores and their window displays, when all of a sudden, WA-BOOSH, my forward progress is absolutely halted right at thigh-level. I almost fall, and as I look down to find the culprit, I see it: a motherfucking firehydrant.
Yes, everybody, Klotz walked into a firehydrant. Luckily, people saw it, including two guys behind me who exclaimed, “OOoo!” simultaneously, like they had just seen a linebacker rail some twerpy wide receiver. Which, when you look at the below picture (strictly for illustration purposes, there was no car involved in my case), is something of an understatement:
A day later, my quadricep’s in dull pain, but no visible bruise from the klutziest thing I have ever done in the city.
Comments (3)
Yes, thank you so much, Klotz. How anybody can live in NYC and not have much to write about would be beyond me…
Anyways, 2 eprops just for running into a fire hydrant. Oh, and also, you should buy a CD of piano favorites. I think you would enjoy it. While you’re at it, buy me one, too, ’cause I’m poor.
Also, shopping in NYC is fun, but NJ is where it’s at. I mean, in case you haven’t realized, sales tax in the city is waaay to high. Just go to my mall at home: you’ll get no sales tax, cheap clothes, and likely your car will be stolen and/or you will get shot in the head!
Speaking of Coldwell banker, There is one in my town (which is “Caldwell”). Until I was 16 I thought that they had just misspelled their name and were too lazy to fix the sign. Then I saw it somewhere else, and, well, that little bubble was burst.
Eprops for the motherfucking firehydrant, a RE/MAX clothing store, and correcting Tapper’s apostrophe mishap. But I’m only allowed to give you two; otherwise, you’d be swimming in them.
dude, we are totally going there when i come visit next weekend. i’m saving my paycheck for this visit, so we best find some awesome bargains.