May 20, 2004

• I promised funny stories, and they’re coming. Just as soon as Tebben does something funny.

  Julia left this afternoon.
  It was great having her around for 2
  weeks as the 4th roomie. Checking out Chelsea art galleries together
  was especially sweet. Tonight Tebben’s second wave of folks arrives,
  featuring Jill. That should be cool, too, especially if Tebben and I,
  who have a stomach bug (his worse than mine), are feeling better. The
  last week was spent making puns, mostly from songs. Corny as all hell
  (as Amanda will gladly attest), but amusing to us word people
  nonetheless.

  Here’s an example. We’d all have the song “I’m a loser baby, so why
  don’t you kill me” in our heads. Then someone would suggest: “It’s the
  luke-warm soda song: ‘…So why don’t you chill me!’” Then someone
  would jump in, “It’s the corn song: ‘So why don’t you mill me.’” And on
  it would go…
  The credit card song: So why don’t you bill me
  The window installation song: So why don’t you sill me
  The predestination song: So why don’t you will me
  The garden song: So why don’t you till me
  The high-pitched note song: So why don’t you shrill me
  The pickle song: So why don’t you dill me
  The fish song: So why don’t you gill me
  The empty song: So why don’t you fill me
  The equation that equals zero song: So why don’t you nill me
  The Michael Jackson song: So why don’t you thrill me
  The parchment song: So why don’t you quill me
  The gaudy dress song: So why don’t you frill me
  The birdsong song: So why don’t you trill me
  The overmedicated person song: So why don’t you pill me
  The moonshine song: So why don’t you still me
  The cavity song: So why don’t you drill me
  The hungry whale song: So why don’t you krill me
  The steak song: So why don’t you grill me

  …and so on.

  Especially funny when someone would suggest one, four hours later, out of nowhere.

  Julia, Mark, and I ate lunch at the Olive Garden last night since
  Amanda was working. We were talking about “Like a Virgin.” I started
  singing “Be Thou My Virgin.” Tebben suggested it be sung at a wedding.
  “Yes!” he said, “Now all I have to do is marry a virgin!” Then we
  started the whole pun thing: The gamefish song (Like a sturgeon), the
  enema song (Like I’m purgin’), the Middle Eastern song (Like a
  Persian), and on, and on, and on. If that kind of shit annoys you, be
  glad you’re not here. Otherwise, be jealous as all get-out.

  My first class at NYU on Monday night was cool. But even at NYU,
  security forgets to unlock doors, and we were stuck outside the
  classroom for five minutes after class was supposed to start. That was
  encouraging.

  A new issue of Frodo’s Notebook is gonna come together by late June, so
  watch for that. We had an unofficial FN meeting the other night at a
  Middle Eastern restaurant while smoking a hooka, which from now on
  shall be required meeting paraphanalia.

  The chapter outline for Christian Music is Dead is completed. I’m still
  doing reading and research, but once I get my incompletes finished up,
  I’ll start putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys, as it were). I
  think this is gonna happen.

  Having lots of time with Amanda has been wonderful. Damn, that girl’s
  funny. We crack each other up, and she makes a big city fun. She was
  the only person who took her Arabic class for credit, and one of five
  student who showed up to actually take the final. She doesn’t know her
  grade yet, but HUGE props to her for that.

  Rumsfeld needs to go. And Carthage must be destroyed.

  • 4:26 pm
  • 6 Comments